Rants: The day the Cube reached home ...
When the Cube reached home: George's first time with the Cube in her Lounge
[This was NOT written with finesse or article language in mind. I wrote this on notepad whilst taking a break from Game Cubing the morning after getting my hands on one, 03/05/02. Enjoy my enlongegated rant!]
I'd just been photographed to death by the Evening Post in Game, Bristol (the one outside the Galleries Centre) whilst playing Smash Brothers Melee (not relased yet) and Waverace (which we purchased). There was free coke and diet coke, celebration chocolates and pringles, doritoes etc. Jazz was number 14 in the queue, which went up at least as high as 29 because Mike Gapper, our mate from Showcase, was 29.
This was my second play experience on the Cube after attending ClubCube with Andrew our Editor the previous week (London). That's also not counting the quick game I had on the Cube at ECTS 2001, but then I only got to handle Universal Studios and was, well; not exactly blown away.
Having played Darm Summit, Smash Brothers Melee & Bloody Roar to name but a few at ClubCube, I was anxious to just get the cube home and not sit there playing more Smash Brothers.
Our time came and it took a few minutes for Jazz to load up with Cube and controllers etc. We came home with the box itself (black including one black pad), plus three extra pads, one black, one purple and one transparent-bottomed purple. The games purchased included Waverace, Super Monkey Ball, Extreme G 3 and Bloody Roar. All of them are four player titles except Bloody Roar which being a beat 'em up, is two players only.
Jazz decided on these purchases because of multiplayer fun; that was his investment. He claimed that if one was investing in a console (a public machine compared to one's PC) and four pads, then it would seem ludicrous to NOT purchase the most multiplayer games one could afford, rather than go for adventure and one player lastability fun, such as Luigi's Mansion. His take on gaming was; if you've got friends, get pads and get multiplayer games.
And I agree with him.
We got into the lounge where we'd set up our Church's brand new projector (3200 lumins) and new sofa, aiming at the pale yellow wall. Aside from the tiny nobbles in the wallpaper this made the perfect setting for projection; many a time before we'd hooked the N64 and other consoles up to it, or simply watched videos on the wall with the older projector. But this baby was the bomb.
I opened the box. The lid flipped upwards and I put my hand in and started yanking it out. The Cube came out in my hand and I stared at it with a ridiculous grin on my face as I quipped what every owner must have been quipping and every reviewer has been quipping the first time they touched one: "I can't believe it - it's so small I mean - look!"
"Oi! I wanted to open it. Leave me some games and pads," Jazz grumbled. Dave set about opening pads and Jazz joined in. Then, the conversation took a turn for the pink-shirted;
"George, do you reckon this t-shirt looks gay?" Dave asked, standing there with wires dangling from his mitts.
It was dark blue with bands around the neck and arms. I just stared for a moment. Scarily; he had a point. A small one, but it was definately there.
"Hmm. I think it looks slightly camp...there's something about the way those arm bands match the neck, reminds me of what some gay blokes seem to be wearing at the moment..." I went back to the Cube. Oooh! A nice little, reflective nobble inside for the mini DVDs to sit on. Nice.
Eventually the system was set up and we started playing. After arguing for a minute or two about which game to play first, Monkey Ball was voted in as 'the most fun'. I picked up the purple control pad and flicked the yellow C stick...
"Hey guess what. Ken's been talking about designing a control stick or element that's like a nipple."
Stares. Long, strange stares.
"Well, Nintendo have done it! Look; this C stick is just like a nipple: you can flick it about and it bounces back to the middle again. It even feels like one."
"How would you know, George?"
"Er well...that's what I've been told. I'm not saying anything. You haven't got anything on me."
And so the gaming comenced. We started off on Monkey Fight, progressing to Monkey target and then Monkey Race. After which, we played some normal mode as well. It was late at night and the accuracy wasn't brilliant. Having said that, Jazz managed to get a pretty decent high score on Monkey Target, getting 370 on a 10 round game. We all did ok at Target...Fight was again; something which we all faired quite well at. But when it came to racing, I started to crumple and get frustrated. "I can't stay on around this fecking corner!" I screamed. "I just keep coming off, those stupid posts bounced me outta' the race again."
Needless to say, I sucked from that point onward having lost my rag. But it was late, I was tired and starving, and had drunk some beer too (which the others hadn't).
While we were setting up Waverace: Blue Storm for the next game (or at some time during the evening; I really wasn't keeping a careful track of the order of events!) Dave decided to discuss his pallet.
"Hey guys, you know how I like my food hot and spicy and stuff...well I was with Alex right and we had this new Pot Noodle, it's new just out."
"Why are you telling us about a Pot Noodle?" I wasn't interested in Dave's eating habits.
"It says HOT on it, it's got like this warning sticker thing? Anyway, it had my eyes watering when I put it all on for full hottness, 'cause it's got these instructions that tell you how much to put on for what hottnes so you got 'Pussy Boy', 'Hot Boy' and 'Bad Boy' and stuff like that; it's great. Guess what right - Alex put some of the sauce on his finger and tried it in his mouth before we put it in the noodles which we dared him, and he licked his finger and then suddenly his eyes were bulging out like red hot and he was drinking under this tap for like - half an hour."
"Hah! Noob," I said. Jazz snickered a little.
Suddenly I noticed something about Waverace's box.
"Hey look! That's really cool; they've got like a little catch area marked for your memory card. So you could like, store your memory card for this game in here and never lose it. That's smart." I said. "All because Nintendo make their own cases."
"Yeah; that's their advantage," added Jazz, "Because unlike the other consoles just out and the PC, they aren't just using rehashed DVD cases..."
"Yeah, you can even feel through the plastic game cover on some of the games the DVD slogan," I finished.
So, we returned to gaming again. I played the Waverace Tutorial and did ok, getting the hang of most of it first time. Getting the right timing on the buttons was really all there was to it.
Then we raced three player. I struggled quite a bit, finding it really hard not to miss the bouys which was something that I'd forgotten about Waverace, though I still don't remember it ever being that hard before to hold the line. Jazz agreed that it was more sensitive than before.
Extreme G, well what can I say? We all played it, and I got bored first. "It looks lovely and it does stuff really well...but it's just fast hover bikes going round and round - we've all seen this before." I liked the dips and stuff since on the wall it was like being on a roller-coaster, but I did find it a bit of a case of 'very nice looking, same-old'.
It was Bloody Roar last. We all had our moments. I was good at first, then platued off a bit as Dave and Jazz got the hang of it.
My view and first impressions, then, to sumerise:
Monkey Ball: The only one at four am that I still wanted to play out of the four games.
Fight: Good! Target: Great! Race: Ok. Normal mode: Ok.
Waverace: Good, a bit touchy but will probably get better feeling in time.
Extreme-G 3: Nice looking, same old style of game. Not much here for those who own EG 1&2 or similar games like the Wipeout series.
Bloody Roar: Wierd, breast-bouncing 3D fighting action. Controls are ok, there again I was never a big 3D fighter fan. Feels a bit limited in the areas you move around in after playing XboX's current 3D fighter; but barely. Beasts are kinda' fun. Some of the moves (once you figure out how the hell to do them!) look and feel great!
Impression: The Cube blew me away. I was happy, I was tired and having great fun. I'm going back downstairs now to play Monkey Ball again. I can't be bothered to get dressed, shower or do anything else right now. I must MONKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !
*Thinks of poor old ITV Digital as I walk away...and snickers*